They're Baaaaa-aaaaack!
about 4 years ago – Thu, Apr 02, 2020 at 02:56:28 AM

This is it: the update literally none of you have been waiting for.

Unless your name is Rick! (And possibly a handful of other sickos.)

It's April Fools' Day, so enjoy the biggest prank of them all: the game that's truly a joke (according to Jesse, that is). Introducing...SUGAR PONIES AND THE QUEST FOR THE COTTON CORNS!

Buy at your own risk, play at your own risk, and say "Sugar Ponies and the Quest for the Cotton Corns" three times in a mirror at everyone's risk. (Do you want rainbow-quakes and happy-hail? Because that's how you get rainbow-quakes and happy-hail.)

Is this is a "good" game? No, not really. Is it a happy game? Yes—possibly the happiest. If Jesse's gloomy world of imperiled orphans and infectious shapeshifters is the "yin" of Certifiable Studios, Rick's glittery vision of sunshine and positivity is the "yang." This may not be the balance the world wants, but it's the balance the world needs.

Sugar Ponies and the Quest for the Cotton Corns is now available as an add-on, as is the long-awaited Sugar Ponies coin. You can get the game for $18, the coin for $12, or bundle them for $25.

Do with this information what you will. Rest assured in the knowledge that however much you hate us for this, we hate ourselves even more. (Everyone but Rick, anyway.)

Oh, and one more thing: We're going live on our Twitch channel at 5:00 pm (CDT) today to wrap up the campaign! Join us, listen to our drivel, and ask us some questions. (We may even answer some of them.)

Thanks for making it such a great campaign so far. Here's hoping for a strong finish!

- The Team at Certifiable 

PS - Rick sold his soul for the ponies, so the first Sugar Ponies game is only available on Halloween. After this campaign is all said and done and pledges have been fulfilled, we're betting you can guess the only day this particular abomination will be available.

WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW IS LOVE, SWEET LOVE!
about 4 years ago – Wed, Apr 01, 2020 at 03:08:42 AM

WHEN 12 IS A CROWD!
about 4 years ago – Wed, Apr 01, 2020 at 03:07:42 AM

Hey everyone! We have a little less than 24 hours left on our campaign and wanted to share what Anthony's been working on. He is clearly anticipating the pandemic to be under control by the time the game comes out, because there is no social distancing for the 12 of these Things! 

Thank you for all your support over the last 30 days! One more day to go, then we can celebrate with some of our delicious Canned Food! Yum! 

- the team at Certifiable

Food Cans and Rude Hands
about 4 years ago – Tue, Mar 31, 2020 at 12:07:32 AM

Hello, all! As you know, we’re rapidly approaching the end of our campaign. You didn’t think that meant we were done with the fun, though, did you? (Surely you know better.) Apologies for the longish update; we've only got a couple of things to cover, but we're going to do so in excruciating detail. For starters, check out this video!

From Your Brains to Their Plates!

To recap: Since you seemed to dig the new Beast Noms canned food, we’re going a step further: We’re going to give you a chance to contribute your own!

We want your very best idea for a canned food card that should be in the 2nd edition of the game!  And by “very best,” we mean ONE PER PERSON. (We reserve the right to disqualify anyone who submits more than one suggestion.) We’ll pick our favorite(s), and they’ll be included as canned food items in every copy of the game.

Here’s how it works…

 The suggestion can simply consist of a name (Rick’s Pantsless Fruit Water) or can optionally include a tagline (Rick’s Pantsless Fruit Water: The Comfort Food That Tastes Like Naked Feels).

Leave a comment with your suggestion on this Facebook post. If you don’t have a Facebook account, email your suggestion to [email protected]. Please don’t share your suggestion in both places, even if it’s the same suggestion. You’ve got until 10 AM (CDT) on Wednesday, April 1st to submit your suggestions. (That's the last day of the campaign!)

And now, for the nitty gritty. Get ready because bullet points are about to be flying...

For those want a bit of inspiration, here are a few of the existing canned food items:

• Almost Bacon
   
• Corn & Stuff
   
• Sugar Goats
   
• Pubeberry
   

Some prompts to help you brainstorm:

• What sounds like a disgusting combination of ingredients? (This is the stuff that's left on the clearance aisle even after the absolute worst flavor of ramen is gone and for good reason.)
   
• What sounds completely inedible?
   
• What sounds like it’s technically edible but that absolutely no one would actually want to eat?
   
• What sounds thematically appropriate to either the game or Certifiable Studios?
   

A few details/disclaimers:

• We reserve the right to change/alter any suggestions as we see fit.
   
• Contest winners will receive no monetary compensation. You will, however, be credited in the game.
   
• Keep it clean—or at least cleanish. (Let "Pubeberry" inform the outside bounds of your tastelessness.)

We can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Double the Sides, Double the Fun!

You asked for it, and now you're getting it: the "F*** OFF!" slip cover! Well, you're getting the opportunity to have it for the low, low price of $10. But wait...there's more! 

Since so many of you were keen on the slip cover, we decided to produce it. You already knew that, but what you didn't know is it would be double-sided! Well...if you know how shapes work, you knew it would be double-sided, but you didn't know it would have two designs on it. 

This sleeve will be available in the add-on section of the page for $10, so pick it up. Supplies will indeed be limited for this exclusive, coveted, what-the-crap-were-we-thinking item, so add it NOW, NOW, NOW!

That's all for the moment. Thanks for your time and your support, everybody!

  - The Team at Certifiable

Update to the Update: You Had Me at "Update"
about 4 years ago – Sat, Mar 28, 2020 at 02:24:14 AM

Some of you love 'em...some of you hate 'em...but all of you are gonna get 'em: It's "Update to the Update" time! 

As per usual, we respond to your comments from previous updates. This time, there's even a bonus: a nugget or two of information that might actually be considered valuable! (But we'll let you be the judge of that.)

 For those who don't want to watch the video, here's a quick rundown...

The most important thing to mention: We hit our social stretch goal! Or, to be more accurate, you hit our social stretch goal! Thanks so much to everyone who threw their weight behind (and moneyz toward) a small and/or beloved business of their choice. These are challenging times, and you did your part to rise to that challenge. For your reward, this Beast Noms canned food card is now officially part of the game! 

On another note, we've had some requests to actually produce the joke third box cover that Jesse drew. (This is the one featuring the Thing, um...extending its middle tentacles. Watch the video above if you haven't already seen the artwork.) We hate to disappoint you, but that's not going to happen. 

What we might (repeat: might) do, however, is produce a sleeve with said artwork that you can slip over the cover option you choose. We understand we're dealing with a comparatively small group of interested backers here; it's not going to be everybody's...Thing. If we decide to go this route, the sleeve would definitely be super exclusive; it just wouldn't make sense numbers-wise to give it any kind of large-scale production. f you think this is something you might want to get in on, please let us know in the comments. We'd love to gauge what level of interest we're looking at. 

Something else mentioned briefly in this update is our Discord community. If you'd like another avenue to discuss all things Certifiable, plenty of stuff non-Certifiable, or you just need someone to help decipher the occasional hidden code in an update (or just our general nonsense), these are the people you need in your life.

As for the rest, Jesse and Brent hit on several different topics mentioned in recent comments: the frequency of our updates and videos, the precarious balance of creative freedom and incorporating feedback, etc. Watch the video if that's your thing; if not, we've hit the high notes here.

Speaking of feedback, keep yours coming. We're here because you dig our stuff. Sometimes we'll incorporate your suggestions; sometimes we won't. Either way, we enjoy hearing them, and we're grateful for and humbled by your support. Thanks for being you.

Have a great weekend, everyone, and stay safe!

- The Team at Certifiable